Toxic, toxic family!

You know when people say "Family is family and no matter what, you should always be there for them?" Or how about "Blood is thicker than water?" Or "You only have one family, forgive and forget?" Well, I beg to differ with them. If your family member is toxic and causes you grief, heartache and drama, I ask, why should anyone have to put up with that?

I had a very hard life, with twists and turns, stuff that was done to me that should never happen to anyone, stuff I've done that I am not proud of, fell down & picked myself up, and kept moving forward. Almost too much to bear and now at this stage of my life, I am not willing to suffer any longer at the hands of others. What happens to me or how I feel now, is all up to me. If I don't like the way I am feeling, I make the changes to feel differently, not anyone else.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

I think many of us need to set boundaries, at least once in our lives. I see posts on Facebook that read something like this: "Share if you will always stand by your loved one, no matter what." Or "I will always be by your side. Share if you agree." 

I pretty much tend to disagree with these posts, as no one should feel obligated to stand by someone if that person makes them feel uncomfortable in a relationship (whether it be a spouse, your child, your parents, etc.) or feel abused or unloved, no matter who they are. Blood is not always thicker than water. 

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice.  If you need to set a boundary with a friend, co-worker or loved one, start with a small boundary that isn't threatening to you. Slowly increase to more challenging boundaries so, as not to overwhelm yourself with guilt, sadness or fear.