Bitter wife, bitter ex, bitter life!!...... Part 2

Back in about 1984, just after our second daughter was born, I was living with my husband, not happily, but married nonetheless. We had, had much trouble in our marriage, (as documented in Part 1) and had been married for about 4 years, with two daughters.

We lived in Lakewood and I became friends with our mail carrier. (I know, I know) He was very nice and we talked almost on a regular basis. I worked hours at work that I would come home around noon, so there was always a chance that I would be home when he delivered our mail. I remember a bitter cold, rainy, stormy day and he was drenched and shivering. I knew he would be soaking wet when he came by and I made him a cup of hot chocolate. When he came, I offered it to him and he gladly accepted. We talked as he stood on the porch, dripping wet and we talked for quite some time. We talked personal stuff as he had been experiencing difficulties in his marriage as well. (at least that's what he told me) As the days went on, we talked. We exchanged phone numbers as offerings of communication, when we were going through difficult times with our spouses. His wife found my number on a piece of paper and called my husband. She asked him if he knew that I was having an affair behind his back, etc. etc. We really weren't, but that's what she told him. He confronted me and I tried to explain that it was a friendship, but he didn't buy it. Well, at least he said that he didn't. This started the bitterness between me and my carriers wife. Her because she thought we were having an affair and me because she called my husband to tell him about what, she thought was going on.

We remained friends and talked each other through hard times, fighting, drinking, etc. He eventually told me that he left his wife and moved into his moms house. She lived nearby and had extra rooms, as she lived alone. He lived in a room in the back of her house. We continued to talk and the bitterness between my husband and I grew. Every time I went to the store or anywhere, he would question me. I was not having an affair!! Lew called the broker/real estate man that sold us our house and told him that we didn't want it anymore and couldn't keep it. We owed way more for it, than it was worth. He told him that if he didn't take it back, that we were going to walk away from it, so all papers were signed for him to take over the house. (lucky us) We decided to separate and I moved and got an apartment with my two girls in Huntington Beach, CA.

As I lived in Huntington Beach, CA with my two daughters, Lew would visit and we would go out, occasionally. I guess you could say, we were seeing if things would or could still work out between us. He started dating (openly) a few different women from our work. (trashy, I may add) In the meantime, I was also talking to my ex-mail carrier, as he was separated from his wife and getting a divorce. (so he told me) As my husband was deciding that he didn't want to try and reconcile, I too was deciding that I felt more for my friend/mail carrier than I had thought. My husband filed for divorce from me and we decided amicably, all the details of our divorce. My husband was to pick the girls up every weekend, but that proved too much for his dating life, so it became less and less. He asked to take them on vacation to Ohio to visit with his family and I agreed.

He took them for a week and this is when he met up with Sharon, someone he knew in Jr. high school. They went on a date and the rest was history. He spent the whole week with her and my girls stayed with their grandma Clay. Nice vacation for them, they thought they were spending a week with their dad!! No such luck!

We definitely were not getting back together this time. I thought for moments that we could make it work and then there were times that I knew we couldn't. I was now dating Charlie, my ex-carrier. I thought and felt that we were exclusive, but was I in for the shock of my life! This is where my bitterness came in toward him.

I had talked with his mom on occasion when I called her house to speak with him. She informed me that she was so upset as she was just informed that her son, Charlie and his wife were expecting a baby. They both knocked on her door and when she came to the front door, they both told her. She said she was so mad, as they were separated and he was living with her. He moved back into his place with his wife and that was that. When I did speak with him, he professed his misery and stated to me that he didn't want to stay and that all this was the biggest mistake that could happen. He again, moved out and to his mom's house. We would see each other on occasion and he professed his love to me. He told me that they were continuing with their divorce even though she was pregnant, I believed him. I know it was wrong and if I could ever turn back time, I would. This would have never happened. I can look back now and just cringe. She eventually gave birth to a boy and was planning on raising him by herself. (Mind you, all of this is what I was told, as I never spoke with her directly to get her side of the story.) As a result of our love for each other, I became pregnant also. We were together throughout my pregnancy and I gave birth to our daughter, Michelle Leigh on Sept. 5th, 1986.

We moved into a house in Lakewood and his older son, by a previous marriage, came to live with us. He eventually divorced (finalized it) but nothing was ever right or was it ever, bitter free. She never forgave him and made his life a living hell for as long as she could. We all felt bitter. I felt bitter toward him and her, she felt bitter toward me and him, and he felt bitter toward both of us. I think because he didn't handle the situation properly from the start, we both felt that he wasn't truthful to either one of us. She felt betrayed by him as he was lying to her and I felt betrayed by him as he wasn't truthful to me either.

Here is a picture of him and I with 3 of our 5 kids. Missing was his son Andre' and our daughter, Michelle. We were dropping my two oldest off to their dad in San Francisco.


This was all such a terrible time in all of our lives. If it were to be done all over again, it would've been done very differently.